Winged Earth Magazine

protein wisdom: “—Poisoning Country Kitchen buffets, bombing professional hockey venues, things like that --?”

Kambon: “-- Exactly, yes. Places where Whitey gathers and engages in sinister Whitey activities.”

protein wisdom: “Like plotting to kill all the blacks.”

Kambon: “Like plotting to kill all the blacks, right. Which, I should note, many people who are commenting on this controversy seem to forget was the basis for my remarks—this systematic plan Whitey has to kill the black man.”

protein wisdom: “Uh huh. And Whitey wants to do this because...?”

Kambon: “I don’t know. You tell me. You’re the evil Honky.”

protein wisdom: “Point taken. Incidentally, you’re not, y’know—armed, are you?”

Kambon:

protein wisdom: “Right. Well then allow me switch gears for a moment and ask you this: Bill Bennett was recently excoriated in the mainstream press for remarks that, though he went out of his way to qualify them, were nevertheless deemed ‘racist’ by many in academia and the media --”

Kambon: “-- His remarks about killing all the black babies, you mean?”

protein wisdom: “-- Yes. Though, of course, that’s not what he meant at all, and in fact, he was arguing against that very thing --”

Kambon: “—Now, see there? See what you’re doing? That’s Honky obfuscation, my man. That’s the White Devil talking. Let me ask you this: Did the man talk about aborting black babies or did he not?

protein wisdom: “—Well, yes, in a way, but --”

Kambon: “-- Nonononononono. No buts, baby. Ain’t no ‘context’ or qualification that can rescue the implicit desire for a genocide when it is uttered by the White Man. We take any shit y’all say at face value, particularly when it involves the eradication of the Nubian blood line.”

protein wisdom: “The what’s this now--?”

Kambon: “The Nubian blood line. The black man. Don’t act all ignorant.”

protein wisdom: “So then, you’ve really already answered my question, which is, do you believe Mr Bennett should have been excoriated for his remarks?”

Kambon: “Excoriated? Aren’t you listening, Ofay? He should have been whipped, then lynched. Dude advocated the wholesale slaughter of the black man in his pre-born fetal innocence, did he not?”

protein wisdom: “Well, no --”

Kambon: “The murdering Honky racist fuck --”

protein wisdom: “-- Well, see, here’s the thing, Dr. Kambon: if you consider Dr Bennett’s remarks racist and deserving of widespread condemnation, how can you not see your own remarks as racist and deserving of that same kind of scorn, given that you are advocating for the same thing you believe Dr Bennett is advocating for, save a change in the color of the targeted group?”

Kambon:

protein wisdom:

Kambon: “See, now that’s a racist question.”

protein wisdom: “It is?”

Kambon: “Of course it is. You’re white, ain’t you?”

problem wisdom: “Well --”

Kambon: “Well nothing. Whitey wants to kill all the blacks, which makes you part of the racist plot. QED. It ain’t difficult to follow.”

protein wisdom: “Well, sure. But that seems a bit like circular logic --”

Kambon: “Listen: logic is a tool of the White oppressor class that is invoked to stifle the creative mentation of the Black man, whose mind functions according to ancient narrative patterns inscribed in his genetic memory and which is borne of an oral rather than a text-based cultural dialogic.”

protein wisdom: “Wow. I hadn’t realized that --”

Kambon: “Yeah, well—It’s a black thing. You wouldn’t understand.”

protein wisdom: “Like the bumper sticker --”

Kambon:

protein wisdom: “Right. Moving on. So tell me a bit more about these, y’know—these retina scans and DNA banks that Whitey has. Because I found that part of your speech particuarly fascinating.”

Kambon: “I said that?”

protein wisdom: “Well, you talked a bit about the technology Whitey was using to surveil the black community, right? You said—and I’m quoting here—‘Now how do I know that the white people know that we are going to come up with a solution to the problem. I know it because they have retina scans, they have what they call racial profiling, DNA banks, and they’re monitoring our people to try to prevent the one person from coming up with the one idea. And the one idea is, how we are going to exterminate white people because that in my estimation is the only conclusion I have come to. We have to exterminate white people off the face of the planet to solve this problem.’”

Kambon: “Oh, that. Right. What of it?”

protein wisdom: “Well, don’t you find it a bit ironic that for all this advanced technology you were on about, all that Whitey really had to do was wait for you to go on CSPAN and broadcast that ‘one idea’ about exterminating all of us?”

Kambon:

protein wisdom: “That is, who needs all this high-tech monitoring and cataloging technology when people like you are just going to, y’know, blab the whole plan on Cable TV like that?”

Kambon:

protein wisdom: “I mean, I just found it ironic, is all. Nevermind.”

Kambon: “Well, let me ask you this, big shot: who invented Cable TV?”

protein wisdom: “I’m not sure exactly, but I think I know where you might be going with this --”

Kambon: “-- That’s right, the White Man. The White Man invented Cable TV. And on whose terms did I release this information about the one idea?”

protein wisdom: “Your own?”

Kambon: “That’s right, the black man’s. You damn skippy, Cracker.”

protein wisdom: “Okay, good. So just to summarize quickly what we have so far: you think that Whitey is looking to exterminate the black man, and that his motives for doing so are racist. And your solution to this problem is to exterminate Whitey first—not out of any racist impulses of your own —after all, you aren’t really judging Whitey, you’re just acting on an empirical fact, and besides, the oppressed can’t, by definition, be racist because of the inequity of power relations, blah blah blah. But rather, you are calling for the extermination of whites out of a necessity which you argue is borne of the White Man’s inherent racism. Is that a fair paraphrase of your position?”

Kambon: “That’s it, yes. Though I would use the term ‘brother’ more often --”

protein wisdom: “-- And the empirical evidence upon which you base this self-defensive call to genocide is...what, again?”

Kambon: “The fact that you all are white, and that Whitey wants to kill all the blacks.”

protein wisdom: “Right. Gotcha. Now, one last question, if I may, Dr Kambon, and it’s this: Why do you think it is that Whitey continues to provide you with a forum for delivering these kinds of messages? That is, if Whitey controls the power and wants to eliminate you—or, at the very least, to silence you in order to prevent you from eliminating him—why do you think it is that he is so willing to give you a forum from which to espouse such controversial racialist views?”

Kambon:

protein wisdom: “...Like for instance, putting it on C-SPAN?”

Kambon:

protein wisdom:

Kambon: “Well, I never said Whitey was particularly bright, did I?”

protein wisdom: “No you did not. I thank you for your time, Dr Kambon.”

Kambon: “Uh huh. Now get your pasty shit out of my face before I beat your white ass pink and pulpy with a ghetto brick.”